Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
