the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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