Its about making memories worth repressing
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im having a threesome with these popsicles
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
