btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
