Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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