his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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