my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
