I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
