well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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