I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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