ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize