you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
