I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
