Already got asked if we're dating
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The Olympian is in my bed
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
