singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize