it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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