I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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