Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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