I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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