we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
