im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
