member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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