Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
