just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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