I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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