yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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