absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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