You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
well you can't waste a boner
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
