I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
