OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
