Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
