So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's no shave November. This is our time.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
