im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I am available for nakedness
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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