Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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