I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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