We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
