he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
