it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize