Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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