dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
