Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
