Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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