He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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