I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize