I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
