I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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