do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
