Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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