Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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