She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
