This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
handjob tips. give me some.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
