reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize