you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
