she kept yelling 'call me bella'
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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