i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Everything about him screamed your future.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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