? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
