there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
