I wanna passion pit in your ass
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
