Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
it's like heaven, but drunker
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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