we have pet lesbian snakes
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
