Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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