She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
